The Revisionist Page 3

  DAVID Can I ask you about it?

  MARIA About?

  DAVID About the war. I’m kind of interested.

  MARIA (affecting nonchalance) Of course you ask me! I am like open book.

  DAVID Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.

  MARIA Sha, uncomfortable! What you want to know?

  The telephone rings.

  DAVID Yeah, maybe just don’t pick it up this time— (she does) Okay!

  MARIA Hello? Yes? I received the letter. No, I’m sorry, I can’t. Thank you for calling. (hangs up) It was for fake blind people again.

  DAVID That’s shocking.

  MARIA So what you want to ask me?

  DAVID Right, if you don’t mind, I would love to know—I’m very curious about your experiences.

  MARIA David, stop this, you are nervous. I am me! You ask.

  DAVID Okay, sorry. So. My mother told me a little bit about you— about your family—during the war.

  Uncomfortable, Maria stands up quickly and enters her room.

  MARIA I forget what I need from here. (sitting down, pretending to laugh at herself:) I am losing my mind rapidly. You continue.

  DAVID Okay. Thank you. So, I know, I know a little bit about your family.

  MARIA Me too. What you know?

  DAVID I know that you lost—that you lost your whole family.

  MARIA Not lost, they all die.

  DAVID Right.

  MARIA My brother shot in front of my face. Do you like the pickles?

  DAVID What, yeah, they’re fine.

  MARIA Different from American pickles, I think. Maybe not so good.

  DAVID No, they’re good. I don’t mind them.

  MARIA You eat anything you want. Zenon take me food shopping tomorrow.

  DAVID All right, thank you. So you went to live with your babysitter’s family. Is that right?

  MARIA Yes, I live there.

  DAVID And Jerzy was her son, right?

  MARIA Why you ask me questions? You know the whole story.

  DAVID No, I don’t. I only know a little bit. I’m just sort of interested.

  MARIA Is very interesting.

  DAVID But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.

  MARIA What you talk, uncomfortable? Is no problem.

  DAVID All right. How long did you live with them?

  MARIA Seven year.

  DAVID And they hid you, or . . . ?

  Maria nods slightly, choked.

  DAVID (cont.) And did you know that, like, your family had been—

  Overwhelmed, Maria slides her chair back abruptly and moves to the fridge. David quiets, uncomfortable. She stares in the fridge.

  MARIA So what is title of your new book?

  DAVID Sorry about that, Maria.

  MARIA What is name of new book?

  DAVID It’s an expression, it’s an English expression. I don’t know if you would know it. Maybe I can ask you another time, I didn’t mean to make you upset—

  MARIA What is name of your new book?

  DAVID It’s called Mindreader. Cause I thought you might want to start from the beginning—

  MARIA What does this mean, The Mindreader?

  DAVID I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or to pry—

  MARIA Tell me what this mean, The Mindreader.

  Maria busies herself, boiling a pot of water.

  DAVID A mindreader is a person who has the ability to—who can hear other people’s thoughts. And it’s not The Mindreader. It’s just Mindreader.

  MARIA I think The Mindreader is maybe better.

  DAVID Okay. But as the writer of it—seeing as it’s mine—I kind of like it just as Mindreader.

  MARIA Good. You no change it just because I tell you.

  DAVID I wouldn’t do that.

  MARIA You must stay in your own mind, trust yourself, David. But maybe also change the title. I think it sound better.

  DAVID You’re a confusing person.

  MARIA You too.

  DAVID I know.

  MARIA So this thing—Mindreader—this is not a real thing.

  DAVID Of course it’s not real.

  MARIA So why you make up something fake?

  DAVID It’s a science fiction novel. It’s supposed to be about something that’s not real. But good science fiction—the kind I’m interested in—makes some comment on the real world. It says something about society in a way that other forms of literature—

  MARIA I understand, I understand. I think is good idea.

  DAVID You do?

  MARIA Yes, I think you know this.

  DAVID Well it’s nice to hear it.

  MARIA But you say book is also supposed to be funny.

  DAVID Right.

  MARIA And you can do this?

  DAVID Do what?

  MARIA You are funny?

  DAVID Yeah. I’m funny.

  MARIA (as though learning new information) Oh.

  DAVID I can be very humorous. You can’t tell?

  MARIA You seem more angry I think.

  Maria takes the kettle and pours two cups of tea.

  MARIA (cont.) You come shopping tomorrow?

  DAVID No, I don’t think I can.

  MARIA Why? What you do?

  DAVID I’m trying to finish a book. I think I may have mentioned it to you several dozen times.

  MARIA But you no work. I hear you. You say “I am working on book,” but I can hear you.

  DAVID What do you mean?

  MARIA I know you not pushing on computer. I hear you.

  DAVID You can hear that I’m not typing?

  MARIA I hear everything.

  DAVID That’s frightening.

  MARIA Is small flat.

  DAVID Well, why do you care what I’m doing?

  MARIA Because if you in my house and not pushing on computer, you should be with me.

  DAVID Okay, well, I promise I’ll work tomorrow, I’ll push, I’ll get something done. It’s not hard to write something, it’s just—

  MARIA So why you no do it?

  DAVID I could write a book easily. It’s a little more difficult to write something good. To write something people like—to write something people buy.

  MARIA You want to be famous. Is it?

  DAVID No. I would like to be acknowledged, but no, not famous, not necessarily.

  MARIA I think this is not a good thing.

  DAVID You’re entitled.

  MARIA I tell you joke—is Polish joke—you understand me more. Little bird sit in a field. A cow walk by and go to bathroom all over little bird. But little bird get up, is not dead, and climb out of cow remains and clean himself with tongue and feathers. Is disgusting maybe to you but is not important. When the bird is clean, he fly away and sit on wire—the most high wire in the village—and he sing a song, is happy. A big bird—hawk, I think—hear him singing, fly down and eat the bird. Now he die for real. So.

  DAVID (beat) In America, we have jokes that are funny.

  MARIA You don’t understand it maybe.

  DAVID No, it’s a nice story. I’ll try to find a way to squeeze it into my book.

  MARIA Yes, I think you not understand.

  DAVID Well, it was a little difficult to follow with your accent. (beat) So what does it mean?

  MARIA Is better to sit in cow remains than to fly high and sing. You sit in cow bathroom and it smell and is dirty but is safe and you know you will not be eat by hawk bird.

  DAVID That’s very progressive. Did you learn that from Stalin?

  MARIA I learn this from many people.

  David, momen
tarily overcome, moves to her. The telephone rings. David watches her as she grabs it.

  MARIA (cont.) Hello? Yes I received your letter. I did read it. I know. Thank you. Of course. No, thank you for calling. Goodbye. (hangs up)

  DAVID I’m sorry. That they keep calling you.

  MARIA I am used to it. I think is maybe more bad for the boy who must call me all day.

  DAVID Maria. Maria. Can I tell you something? This guy I know—a friend of mine—this guy I know, he wrote a novel, a best seller, on his cell phone.

  MARIA Is good subject to write about.

  DAVID No, he didn’t write it about his cell phone. He wrote it literally on his cell phone. He text-messaged himself one paragraph a day on his subway ride to work. Text messages are like little notes you can send through a cell—

  MARIA I know about SMS. What is story?

  DAVID It’s about a homeless man on the G train—on the subway in New York. It’s like a day in the life of this one guy.

  MARIA Is good, no?

  DAVID It’s meandering. It’s not—it’s fine, it’s just stupid though because people are only buying it because he wrote it on the subway. He went on Letterman. It’s not the book that people are buying, it’s the story of how he wrote it and it just seems like bullshit, kind of.

  MARIA You come to Poland.

  DAVID So?

  MARIA You come to Poland to write the book. He just go on subway.

  DAVID Yeah, well I came to Poland because I thought—because I have a relative here.

  MARIA I live here.

  DAVID Right. And I wanted to visit you.

  MARIA No, you want to write your book.

  DAVID But I could have gone anywhere. I thought it would be nice to come here though. To come see you. You’re my family.

  MARIA I think you maybe just come here to write the book.

  DAVID Maria, I was trying to share . . . I thought I should tell you about this guy because I wanted to tell you that I feel at all times—like I don’t know where—or what I’m going to—I feel like the world is just unfair and I wanted to share that, with you.

  MARIA (beat, gently) Come, David. We take our tea in the other room. We watch Wolf Blitzer. Is American.

  DAVID I know who he is.

  Maria leaves David alone. He remains seated, staring into his mug. Maria enters the TV room, places her tea on a small table and flips on CNN International.

  WOLF BLITZER History was made in Washington this week when the President warmly welcomed the president of Vietnam to the White House. I spoke with President Triet during his Washington visit. Mr. President, thank you for joining us. Welcome to the United States.

  In the kitchen, David grabs the framed NY Times review.

  He sits at the table and reads it, genuinely pained. He removes it from the frame and holds the thin paper in his hands. He looks at it in disgust, wanting to rip it apart . . .

  Instead, David grabs a pen, quickly signs his name on the article and fits it back into the frame. He opens the cabinet and tries to silently place it back but he rustles the pots and pans loudly.

  MARIA David, don’t break the house.

  DAVID Sorry. I’m coming.

  David brings his tea into the TV room. He sits next to Maria, placing his tea next to hers. The lights begin to fade.

  WOLF BLITZER Mr. President, did you ever think, during the war, that you would be the president of Vietnam and that you would come to the United States and would be warmly received at the White House? (translator answering:) No. I never think this would happen.

  BLACKOUT—

  Maria (Vanessa Redgrave) welcomes David (Jesse Eisenberg)

  with a roasted chicken.

  Maria and David watch Wolf Blitzer on CNN together.

  Zenon (Dan Oreskes) prepares to shave Maria’s legs.

  Maria, David, and Zenon.

  David smokes in his room.

  David and Maria talk early in the morning.

  David packs up, preparing to leave.

  Maria is alone.

  SCENE 3

  The next day, late afternoon

  Lights up on the kitchen as the front door rattles open. A bear of a man, ZENON, enters carrying several grocery bags.

  Zenon takes a shot glass and a bottle of vodka from the cabinet and pours a shot. He drinks it swiftly and pounds his chest with a fist. He pours another shot.

  Zenon takes out a large bowl from the cabinet and fills it with warm water.

  David sits on his bed, wearing earphones, listening to an iPod and reading a Lonely Planet guide to Poland.

  The small window is open. All of the picture frames in his bedroom are facedown.

  Maria enters the apartment, wearing a long skirt, giddy.

  MARIA David! We are back with the food.

  David does not hear her. She speaks to Zenon in Polish:

  MARIA I’m putting the cold stuff away. We’ll take care of the rest later.

  ZENON Do whatever you want.

  Maria empties a bag into the refrigerator as Zenon takes out an old razor and shaving cream from the cabinet and brings a stool to the counter.

  Maria struggles up to the counter and sits on it, her legs dangling off. Zenon sits on the stool, lifts Maria’s skirt to just above her knees, rolls her stockings down and begins shaving her lower legs, using the basin of warm water.

  MARIA Do it gentle. Try not to cut me.

  ZENON Don’t tell me what to do.

  MARIA They’re my legs! Be gentle!

  ZENON Okay! Calm down!

  In David’s room, he takes a hit of weed off his pipe. He blows the smoke toward the open window. He takes the earphones out and, unbalanced, heads into the kitchen, stopping when he sees them shaving:

  DAVID What the fuck!

  MARIA Hello, David.

  ZENON Hello, David!

  MARIA He shaving my legs.

  David leaps back into his room, as though having witnessed a murder, and takes a huge hit off his pipe.

  DAVID Oh my god oh my god oh my god.

  MARIA David! Is okay. You come back. He shaving my legs.

  ZENON He hates this?

  MARIA No! It’s fine. Continue.

  DAVID Who is that man and what is he doing to you?

  MARIA Is Zenon. I tell you, he shaving my legs.

  DAVID Right. Why?

  MARIA He used to shave his mother legs and she die one year ago.

  DAVID That’s not really a sufficient explanation for what I just witnessed.

  MARIA He like doing it, it remind him of dead mother. I need my leg should be shave, is good agreement. Now you come in and say hello. You be nice. (to Zenon:) He is a nice boy, but it is difficult to see this.

  David jumps on the sill and attempts to close the small window. It won’t budge. He leaves it open and walks back into the kitchen, very stoned.

  DAVID Hello, Maria. I’m sorry I reacted that way before, I thought you were being coital.

  MARIA Is okay. Zenon, this is David. David, say hello to Zenon.

  DAVID Hello, Zenon. Thank you for shaving my second cousin.

  ZENON (speaks rapid Polish to David) We just bought you more food than your body will probably tolerate.

  DAVID Really. On behalf of our whole family. We appreciate you coming here weekly, or biweekly, or whatever you do, and shaving this woman’s hairy, insulated legs. But, with all due respect, I’m getting a little nauseous watching you two do that. Excuse me.

  David walks to the fridge and grabs a juice, drinking out of the carton. Maria says to Zenon:

  MARIA Try not to bother him, he’s writing his book.

  ZENON I don’t plan on it.

  MARIA So, David, h
ow is the book?

  DAVID What book?

  MARIA You almost finish?

  DAVID While you were out, it won a Pulitzer.

  MARIA What you say?

  DAVID I said while you were out shopping for food, it won a Joseph Pulitzer Prize.

  MARIA Is okay.

  DAVID For literature. For fiction. You know what the Joseph Pulitzer Prize is, Maria?

  Maria speaks to Zenon in Polish as David rambles:

  MARIA He’s actually a very famous writer in America. Like a little Harry Potter.

  ZENON He knows Harry Potter?

  DAVID Zenon, you know what the Joseph Pulitzer Prize is? I’m still in shock. About the award. We’re all thrilled. We’re over the moon! The necessary calls have been made!

  Zenon shaves. David stares at his own hand, stoned. Pause.

  DAVID Dzien dobry, Zenon!

  ZENON Dzien dobry?

  DAVID Dzien dobry!

  MARIA What is this, David? You learn Polish?

  DAVID I learned dzien dobry.

  MARIA This mean “Good morning.”

  DAVID Yeah, I read it means “Hello.” A lonely planet told me.

  MARIA No, it mean “Good morning.”

  DAVID Dzien dobry.

  ZENON Dzien dobry!

  MARIA You sound good, David, but dzien dobry is six hour late. You want you should learn Polish?

  DAVID Yes! Teach me Polish, Maria!

  MARIA Ooh! Is great idea. You know dzien dobry, yes?

  DAVID Yes!

  ZENON Dzien dobry!

  MARIA This mean “Good morning,” David.

  DAVID Good morning, Maria!

  MARIA But now is evening. You say dobry wieczor.

  DAVID (greatly mispronouncing) Dobry giecher.

  MARIA Is almost. Try again: dobry wieczor.

  ZENON Dobry wieczor, David!

  DAVID (badly) Dobry fiecha.

  ZENON He will never speak this language.

  MARIA David, you speak good. Is hard language.

  ZENON (as if trying to convince him) DOBRY WIECZOR, DAVID!

  MARIA You say it like Zenon.

  DAVID (suddenly embarrassed) Maybe. I’ll think about it. I don’t know.

  Maria and Zenon speak to each other, mentioning “David”—